SIMPLE WAYS TO BECOME WISER
I have always been described as an introvert, a shy person, someone who is easily taken advantage of by others. The traits of competency, capability, and street smartness have nothing to do with me in my case. I would very much like to change who I am and blend in with others. Guess what I did? I gossiped with others, judged others, and said things I shouldn’t say. That of course only displays an unfortunate lack of common sense and stupidity, eventually attracted unwanted drama and chaos. Luckily, God gives us the bible. Jacob 1:5 stated: “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” In bible history, King Solomon is the wisest above all. Maybe not all of us can reach the standard, but here’s the good news, God wants to give wisdom to those who pursue it. I want to share below tips for dummies to become wiser.
- Fear the Lord
Proverbs 9:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
Proverbs 8:13 To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.
Simply put, to fear the lord means putting God first, loving what He loves, and hate what He hates. How can we learn to do that, and love what He loves, and hate what He hates? The first basic thing to do is spend time studying and praying and eat God’s word as daily bread. As time goes on, you will come to know God’s hearts and minds better and better.
- Hold Your Tongue
Proverbs 17:28 Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent and discerning if they hold their tongues.
Sam Levenson, the American Humorist, said, “It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say, and then don’t say it.” Perhaps I should type out this quote and verse Proverbs 17:28, and stick where I can see every day as a daily reminder (haha). Gossips are like cancer and many times cause drama and chaos. James chapter 3 explained in detail the effect of gossips: ” tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts,” “tongues is a fire, and it can set a great forest on fire in a small spark,” “anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.” Always keep the below in check:
– Speak less and listen more. James 1:19 says “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
-Don’t gossip about others. Keep your personal things personal if you don’t want others to know. You might think people keep secrets, but you wouldn’t know when you turn against each other for various reasons, and people might spill your secrets as part of the betrayal.
-Don’t talk behind people’s back just because they talk behind your back. It displeases God when we are talking behind people’s back, yes, even though they are the ones who started it first. Rumors stop at a wise man. If you don’t know of any clever strategy to defeat those gossipers, I would say the wisest thing to do is to P-R-A-Y. You might also want to talk about your situation with a trusted and matured person. Believe that God is the god of righteousness. He never turns His back on us.
3. Choose Your Friends Wisely, Do Not Befriend With Gossipers
Proverbs 20:19 A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.
Beware of what kind of people you are surrounded by in your life. Stay away from gossipers, even though they might seem friendly and sociable. Proverbs 26:25 says, “Though their speech is charming, do not believe them, for seven abominations fill their hearts.” Take your time, observe if that person is trustworthy, set boundaries, and decide which things you can share or keep to yourself.
4. Consider hiring a coach/counselor.
I used to think hiring a coach or counsel is expensive, I confided in my colleague about my personal issues instead (one of the most stupid decisions I’ve ever made). Looking back, if I was willing to cut down some entertainment expenses and invest in myself, I could have gotten actual help and avoid troubles. Hiring a coach or counselor doesn’t necessarily have to be super expensive, do some research, and choose what is the best fit for you. Not everyone needed this kind of help, but if you have given it a serious thought, but the people around you keep telling you it’s unnecessary, you’ll be your own judge, and do what’s best for yourself.
- Be Humble and Be Teachable
James 4:6 “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”
Proverbs 9:9 Instruct the wise, and they will be wiser still, teach the righteous, and they will add to their learning.
Being humble and being low-self esteem are two different things. It doesn’t mean being a doormat and undermine your own value. Real humility comes from God, knowing that we were once sinners but now were saved by His grace. Like everyone else, we are too imperfect. Real humility means that we are willing to let go of the offenses, just like God has forgiven us. Being humble and teachable means, we understand that there’s always room for improvement, not afraid to admit that we are wrong when we make mistakes. May the humility and gentleness of Jesus Christ being replicated into our lives.
- Be A Peacemaker
Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
One of the bible stories I love is the story of a heroine named Abigail, of how she turned a dangerous situation into peace. Abigail is wise and beautiful (I personally think she has high emotional intelligence, she will be an outstanding negotiator if she was born in the modern world). However, she was being married to a man called Nabal, who was rich, but was cruel and mean. David was in the wilderness at Carmel; he sent 10 men to Nabal and told him that they have helped to guard the sheep and shear the sheep, hoping to use the labor in exchange for some food in a polite manner. With the level of abundance that Nabal possessed, it wouldn’t be a problem at all for him to provide some food for David and his men. Furthermore, it would add benefit to his reputation as the man who is being grateful for those who helped him. However, Nabal did not do so, he did the opposite and insulted David. David was young and vigorous then. He, of course, wouldn’t take the insult and decided to take on revenge. A vigilant servant hurriedly tells what he has seen to Abigail and reminds her to take action. Abigail quickly prepared enough food, and she rode on the donkey along with some servants to find David. The moment she saw David, she apologized and reminded David paid no attention to the fool, not to shed the blood of the innocent, and not to harm his good reputation by doing things that he would later regret. David accepted the advice and the gift instead of continuing with the revenge. At the end of the story, Nabal was being killed by God, and Abigail became David’s wife.
The story of Abigail teaches us, being a peacemaker doesn’t mean you are weak, but one has to be proactive, with wisdom and courage, knows how to take into consideration of the big picture. The vigilance of the servant, Abigail’s willingness to act quickly, knowing to put herself in other’s shoes when she offered advice, and at last avoided the disaster and create a favorable situation for both parties.
Last but not least, no matter what happened, let go of the past and forgive yourself. It is not in God’s plan for us to cling to the past. Instead, it is His desire to give us a life of abundance. Let‘s put down the burden of the past and strain towards what is ahead.
Prayer
Dear Lord, I come before you and pray for all women pursuing wisdom, which pleases you. You know everything about them, what they have been through. Lord, you promised, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you.” Let them find what they seek. May the wisdom from above fall upon them, that they may know how to deal with situations at the workplace and relationships and stay away from malicious talk and gossiping. May they produce good fruits and be blessings to others. In the name of Jesus Christ, we thanks and pray, amen.