Unrequited Love – Turn To God For Healing

Unrequited love, I am not sure how many of us have this experience. But I do realize that it is not as uncommon as I thought. I recalled one time we were having a church cell group, one of our sister in Christ shared her experience about liking someone for years, end up that person doesn’t like her back. At that moment, my memory flew back to my University days.

At the church I attended, a girlfriend of mine shared a very close friendship with a guy. It’s clear to everyone that this girl likes him a lot. But when everyone asks this guy about their relationship, he would respond with this answer: “I am waiting on God for the right timing to be with the right person,” he did not reject the girl, nor did he affirm their relationship.

Seeing my sister in Christ involved in this kind of relationship breaks my heart a lot. I feel the pain of loving someone who doesn’t love you back, for I have had a similar experience too when I was still in high scool.

I remembered at the cell group, I made this prayer silently in my heart, “in the name of Jesus Christ, this situation would never happen to me ever again,” I told God that it just not worth the time, people get hurt, it’s not good for anyone. Now I would say, be careful how you pray, because a few years later, unrequited love happened to me again without a sign of warning.

At first, I felt so certain that me and that person would be together. I kept thinking, perhaps this is not the right timing, perhaps I’ll have to wait a little longer. A few months later, everything I imagined turned exactly to be the opposite. That person started a new life, and started to date someone else. I felt like a fool. I felt frustrated and confused.

Long story short, it took me a few years to move on from that situation. But thank God, looking back, I realized it only took just a few years, thank God it’s not forever. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

During that few years, I also experienced different situations in life. I was having a bad relationship with my mum. I argued and broke up with my best friend, and I did also experience minor symptoms of depression, which eventually affected my work. Did I like the whole experience? Absolutely no. But did I grow and become a better person than I was? I do think so. To me, that’s what matters most.

As I was writing this, I had to admit that although I wish there were some kind of “magic pill”, “magic solution” for a fast and furious healing process, the truth is that most of the time, there is no quick fix. You will have to go through the process, and healing takes time. But I can share some of the things that you girls may do during the healing process. If you are encountering unrequited love or heart break, let me give you a virtual hug, and let’s begin:

1. Be gentle with yourself.

Give yourself time and space to heal. The world would tell us, get over it quickly, forget that the person within 1 or 2 days, if you can do that, good for you. But if you can’t, relax, it’s normal, it’s okay. Be gentle and be patient with yourself, just as God Himself has been patient with you as well.

2. Put on some worship music instead of just heartbreak songs.

I recalled playing Taylor Swift “Red” album over and over again, about 100 times, I guess? Nothing wrong with contemporary songs, but if I could do it differently, I would play more worship music. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.” Invite God in, allow Him to heal us, play some worship music, sit with Him and be still in Him.

3. Trust the process.

Things happen for a reason. I may not like what happened and have always prayed to God to take it away. Looking back, I realized the whole process had helped me grow to become a better person. Was it easy? No, not at all. But was it worth it? Yes, it is.

4. Jesus Himself has experienced “unrequited love” as well.

He is the son of God, yet he too has experienced rejection, betrayed by one of His own disciple – Judas. When He was being arrested, others fled out of fear, and Peter, the disciple who vowed that he’ll never leave Jesus no matter what happens, denied Him three times. He has been where you are at, and I can rest assured He knows how you feel.

5. Remember the cross. It’s all been paid for.

Isaiah 53:5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.

Pray and claim for healing in front of the cross. I am not sure how long the healing process will take. Everyone’s journey is different. But God is faithful, He wants, and He will heal you.

Prayer

Dear Lord, during this Valentine season, we celebrate love. And we also want to celebrate God’s love for us, especially women. Today I pray for women who experienced unrequited love and rejection. I pray that they may always experience God’s Love in whole and in full during daily life. No matter what happens, they always remain the apples of Your eye, that You will always care about them and protect them. In the name of Jesus Christ, we thank and pray, amen.